The sisterhood of Antioch.

They Always appear in groups of three. Supreme arbitraters in any situation. They worship Antioch. Who or what Antioch is, is unknown. While the three don't look the same, they general speak in unison. Also, they don't lie.
More on this later.

Encounter at Ivy Point part 1

The group had their first job for the Screaming Eagle company. They had to go across this huge primordial forest to this manor known as Ivy Point. Determine if the lady of the house; Countess Angela Krang was still amongst the living, and then if she was not, bring back her will so that her heirs could descend on her property like dragons at a halfing picnic. They gather the essentials and Morton buys a donkey to carry it all.

A nature walk .

They begin their descent into the forest at 6 am. The forest looks like a combination between a jungle and a stately English oak forest, it is teeming with all sorts of life, noises all around them making them jumpy. It takes about a day to get through the forest to the Manor. During that time there are a few mood enhancing encounters. They see a group of giant albino legless ape creatures swinging through the vines in the canopy 200 feet above them. At one point they see what looks like a Tyrannosaurus Rex barreling through the forest about 400 yards to their right. Eventually they get to where they should be coming out of the woods soon, and twilight is setting in. Then they get jumped by a jaguar. Actually, Perdita got jumped by a jaguar and it bit her face, which she wasn't thrilled about at ALL. Tokor thinks quickly and throws his net over the jaguar, the jaguar is knocked to the ground and they quickly kill the noble beast.

Spelunking with Dwarves .

Finally they are out of the woods, and are walking across once manicured grounds that are overgrown and neglected. In the distance they see the white walls of what must be Ivy Point.
So they warily trudge through the knee high (Since most of the group is height challenged waist and neck high respectively.) They get to the walls and the gate is collapsed into a pile of rubble blocking the entrance. Perdita gets a chill up her spine that lets her know that magic was used here. Kaedryn glances beside the gate and finds a secret door, so they tie the donkey up and open the door and it decends into a cavern. Inside the cavern they find another cleverly hidden door, inside of which looks like a combination barracks / Panic room of some sort. They eventually come out in what looks like the pantry of the house, old dusty shelves and rat infested grain.

The lady is in.

They explore the pantry and surrounding servants quarters, Ugly Sal meticulously searching for any sign of trap or hidden passage. Satisfied there is nothing they move onto what looks like a grand dining hall and sitting at the head of the table there is a woman who is obviously dead, she looks like her insides have been sucked out, and all that remains is her skin, she almost looks like a china doll, sitting there in an opulent, baroque dress, made of white silk, covered in rubies. Ugly Sal and Kaedryn walk over there, Kaedryn deftly cuts four rubies off of her dress, Ugly Sal cuts a slit up the side and takes the whole dress. What remains of her deflates into a pile of skin. Tokor scowls at both Ugly Sal and Kaedryn and spits on the floor. "I don't like this" he mutters. Morton quickly offers a prayer to Estanna to guide this woman to a comfortable celestial split level bungalow, even though he knows that only pious followers get to live in her glorious heavenly housing development.

Jealous Bones.

They move on, they come upon a long hallway with four doors adjacent to it; two on the right two on the left. There are huge floor to ceiling windows every six feet or so. One of the doors leads to an old and dusty, but opulent theater room. Perdita sneaks in there while Ugly Sal is making sure the hall is safe. She gets on stages and starts dancing provocatively and singing, working on a new number, she gets into it, swaying and moving to the music like she was a member of the Miami sound machine. She hears clicking and scraping come from behind her, and she sees six skeletons dressed in mock theater finery dancing behind her, they all stop, and look at her in one synchronized movement, their skeletal grins mocking and terrifying her. She runs and get the rest of the group and they dispatch the skeletons with no problem.

He's coming to get you, Perdita!

Walking further down the hall, they come to a large set of double doors, Ugly Sal starts checking them for any sort of trap, and he hears moaning and shuffling of many feet behind the doors.
30 minutes later, after determining that there are no traps on this door, he opens it and peaks inside; where he sees a sea of dead and bloated faces, zombies, and they all start moving towards the door. He closes it quickly, and the party moves back about 20 ft. Ponto runs up and opens the door to let the horde out, Kaedryn deftly launching arrows through the heads and necks of the approaching tidal wave of necrotic flesh. These arrows don't even seem to irritate the zombies. The party braces for battle.

Their finest hour.

The part is arranged with Tokor, Kaedryn, Ponto, and Ugly Sal up front with Perdita and Morton holding up the rear. Within seconds the first group of zombies is dispatched, also, Tokor has buried his trident through Ponto's gut, and Perdita, trying to be useful, has accidentally stabbed Tokor in the face. For the next few minutes, Morton is trying to stabilize Ponto, and while this is happening every other member of the group goes down at least once. Morton does his best to call upon the grace of Estanna to get them healed, but he is frankly overwhelmed with the task. Meanwhile, the zombies are still pouring out of the room, the group makes a decision to smash a window. Morton finally gets Ponto's intestines back in his body, and Perdita picks him up and they leap out of the window into the over grown rose garden outside.

The smell of death and roses.

Quickly a defensive line is formed and Kaedryn, Tokor, and Ugly Sal get to work hacking away at the undead. It works too, everytime one of them is injured, Morton is there to get them back going. The thing is, the zombies just keep mindlessly trudging forward, and Morton is really at the end of his rope. Suddenly, Kaedryn goes down, and the odds are totally starting to stack against the party, Perdita grabs Ponto, and Tokor grabs Kaedryn and they start retreating into the rose garden.

Just call me Borg.

Just when it is really starting to look hopeless, a man on a armored war horse rides up waving the a symbol of the war god Kratos* (Don't be a hater) The zombies are hit with the inexorable force of his faith and are dropped. The rest of the group thanks him and exchanges greetings. He agrees to help them get back to the panic room so that they can rest. He ties his horse up in a relatively safe place and they head back to the cavern. Kaedryn and Ponto are both hurt bad, so they let them sleep, but Borg helps the rest of them heal by calling upon his god. Perdita goes out to bathe in a fresh water spring that they found, and when she comes back, she has fish to eat and reports that when she went back to the donkey to get some clothes that weren't covered in dead flesh that the donkey was gone. Perdita cooks the fish and everyone gets a small piece, the battle weary group then retires for the evening.

The Moebius Cosmopolitan #1

Moebius is a big place!

From the Proustian empire to the isles of Merriloc there is much to see and do.This Gazette proposes to bring you a taste of the world without leaving the comfort and security of your keep. Our staff scours the known world to bring you the history, culture and latest happenings so that you won't have to be embarrassed at your lack of knowledge when you are at the latest ball or gladitorial event. So sit back with a nice pint of Bitter Halfling Ale™ or a pipe of the finest elven dreamweed and remember "Here there be dragons"™

The first locale we will visit is the mighty yet charming Proustian Empire.

The Proustian Empire was formed in the year 3291 after a century long battle for land between the humans that started arriving by ship in 3172 and the indigenous Dwarven Population known as the Callak Morg or simply "The People" This bloody conflict inflicted massive casualties on both sides. The humans had the advantage as far as Arcane power, but the
Callak Morg where masters of the Automata; Giant Iron Warriors, needless to say there were many spectacular battles however the war had been at a stalemate for 50 years before the intervention of Illiandrelaa the beautiful Elven queen of the Eyther'tythilar in the year 3288.
The Humans and the Callak Morg joined together with the People of the Eyther'tythilar serving as advisors and adjudicators to form the greatest, most powerful culture to every grace Moebius: The Proustian Empire; named after Bog Proust's farm where the treaty was signed.

The Proustian Empire of today is a rich melting pot of culture. It is known for it's unique foods, beautiful forests and massive cities. Proustians are known for their industry, love and support of the arts and the quality of metalwork that is produced in it's tireless forges. The Proustian Empire is also the proud home of Bitter Halfling Ale™ as well as other regional wines and ales.
The Capital of the Proustian Empire is Mekagrakenheim where the affairs of state are conducted by the beautiful and fair Empress Josephine Proust who is advised by a congress that represents the interests of all those that call the proud Proustian Empire home.

Food: Travellers to the Proustian Empire have a wide varieties of dishes to satisfy every palatte
A staff favorite is Grubenmokshor, a delicate blend of shaved beef in a red wine sauce served over thick dumplings garnished with a spicy blend of local herbs. We recommend it be accompanied by a refreshing pint of Bitter Halfling Ale™ The best Grubenmokshor can be found at the Minotaur's Maiden, a fine eating house in the theatre districk of Mekagrakenheim.

Culture: The Proustian Empire has always been known as a trendsetter in the world of Art and Entertainment. Whether your delight is seeing a traditional Proustian Drama put on by the golden apple theater company or taking in an avant garde production by the spinning banshee performance collective there is something to be found for every taste. Is your fancy tickled by more musical endeavors? The Proustian Empire is known for it's pop stars, you would have to be a zombie to not get swept up in the rhythm and excitement of such stars as Elf Fever! or Angel X

Places not to miss: If you are planning a trip to Mekagrakenheim, then we recomend taking a tour of the Imperial Palace, make sure you devote a day to it, because there is alot to see; a lunch of traditional Proustian fare is provided for a small fee. For the more academic minded the Catacombs of erudition is the largest library in the known world, it sits adjacent to Harkamor University and is open around the clock, remember silence is golden! For a glimpse of nature in the heart of the city we recommend the Eyther'tythilar gardens, gathering exotic plants from all over Moebius there is nowhere else like them!

This concludes the first issue of the Moebius Cosmopolitan. We hope you have enjoyed this trip through the Proustian Empire and remember "You can drink like a king with Bitter Halfing"™

Dramatis personæ

I suppose we should kick this thing off by introducing you to the characters in this carnival. They are a varied lot of scoundrels, saints, the quick and the really stupid. We have dwarves that look like they got hit by the ugly forest...and pop stars, well, at least one pop star.

So without further ado....

Ugly Sal: A "Jeweler" by profession, Sal has been known to spend his free time juggling, lurking in shadows, "borrowing" the jewelry off of dead aristocrats, or standing on a pile of disemboweled zombies swinging a gore covered mace. This dwarf looks like the gods forgot where their privy was and just went on his face. Also, he doesn't bathe...at least not yet, but there is always the next adventure.

Crazy Ponto Bandawax: Standing at 3 feet, with spiky white hair that adds another 6 inches, Crazy Ponto almost looks like one of those treasure trolls, except he carries a battle axe as big as he is, and he is known for launching himself into danger without a thought. Crazy Ponto enjoys bird watching, hunting and knee capping things much much bigger than him.

Tokor Gimelheim: Straight and narrow, this dwarf knows the difference between right and wrong...gods help you if he thinks you are wrong. Tokor may not be that smart, but he is known for his single mindedness, also for his skill with a net and trident. Tokor can usually be seen on the front lines of any battle, leading the charge against unlikely odds. When he is not doing that he is working on a series of drawings of his travel companions and the exotic places that they have visited and wreaked havoc in.

Kaedryn Kennyrsythek: He is a tall and graceful elf that wields a might bow. Yes, you have never seen the likes of Kaedryn before. Kaedryn can often be seen fighting side by side with Tokor, the mighty dwarf as they keep count of the number of enemies they fell...wait a minute, there is more to Kaedryn than a tired fantasy trope, he also is working on a play that will show the world his skill at...shooting arrows and running around the forest...er, maybe we should move on.

Morton Hobbs: Morton is a holy man, a travelling doctor who serves the mighty Estanna, goddess of house and home...what's that? oh don't you worry about that ball gag, and that whip is strictly for religious functions. Oh no, don't worry, that is just his walking staff, a man of Morton's...esteem needs help getting around. Why is he petting you? Oh that is just his way of offering a blessing...don't be scared.

Perdita Martine: Perdita is beautiful, Perdita is fabulous, Perdita can rip a door off of it's hinges. Perdita is a witch that the other witches laugh at for not having any warts. She is also a rising star known in many of the best theaters for her singing and dancing. With such hits as "Orc on the inside" and "Beholder behold me" and of course the chart topping hit "Jealous Bones" Touring all the finest caves and abandoned manors near you!

There you go, that's the whole rogue's gallery. United by a crime that none of them committed; held together by their love of money and their own personal vanities, no rat is too scary, no zombie too quick, no situation too easy for them to exploit. They are the members of Mr Grimes' irregulars, the finest new members at the Screaming Eagle security company. Here to serve with honor...and because 90 % of them are indentured into servitude.